We approach yet another holiday season. Why is it that history seems to always repeat itself? I posted about that in my last post, I know, but it’s so true.

Come up to meet ya, tell you I’m sorry
You don’t know how lovely you are
I had to find you, tell you I need ya
And tell you I set you apart
Tell me your secrets, and nurse me your questions
Oh let’s go back to the start
Running in circles, coming in tails
Heads on a science apart

Nobody said it was easy
It’s such a shame for us to part
Nobody said it was easy
No one ever said it would be this hard
Oh take me back to the start

I was just guessing at numbers and figures
Pulling the puzzles apart.
Questions of science, science and progress
Don’t speak as loud as my heart.
Tell me you love me, and come back and haunt me,
Oh, when I rush to the start
Running in circles, chasing tails
coming back as we are.

Nobody said it was easy
It’s such a shame for us to part
Nobody said it was easy.
No one ever said it would be so hard
I’m going back to the start.

The Scientist, by Coldplay. The lyrics to this song are amazing. There’s no possible way I can express how much I wish I could go back to the start. Why can’t we? Slap me for asking that, because it’s a dumb question. Heck, what am I saying though? Life is dumb. I hate it. Why do things have to be so difficult? Why can’t we just all be honest? Why can’t things play out like they do in the movies? Or maybe not even like the movies, just let it play out like we would like it to, for one time. History repeats itself, again. Do you ever wonder why people come in and out of our lives if they seem to play absolutely no part at all? I do. I wonder why I’m caused so much grief and heartache if something doesn’t work out. I mean I pray to God, asking Him for everything to work out. Maybe I’m just selfish; Maybe I pray for the wrong reasons? I really don’t know, but sometimes I grow tired of this continuous loop I seem to be caught in. I don’t know what to do in my life sometimes. I don’t even know who to call friends anymore, who to call lovers, who to call acquaintances? See that’s why life is tough. That reason. We don’t know what other people are thinking. Why do we dance around the subject with issues? Why do we? That’s yet another eternal struggle that I deal with. It doesn’t seem fair. Can we not be honest? The world wants the best of both worlds in everything. I’m expected to be this honest, great, person, that tells how I feel, but yet I can’t get that in return. I guess time heals all wounds though.

I often wonder about people. Why they do as they do; why the act as they act. If you notice sometimes, when you see someone you know, but maybe you don’t know them that well, but well enough to speak, sometimes they will kind of duck their heads, hoping that you won’t see them. I mean come on; we’re all guilty of this. Sometimes in our minds too, we think, “I hope he doesn’t see me, ok they are half way passed me and still haven’t said anything…” and the other person will speak, and we will respond with, “Hey! How’s it going, it’s been such a long time since I’ve seen you,” Is that not human nature? Every single person reading this has done that at one point or another. I wonder why though? I mean, it’s not necessarily that we dislike that person, (well sometimes we do) but there’s just something about it. That kind of brings up the topic of fakeness in individuals. I’ve heard all these astrological signs that claim that certain people born under this particular sign, “Adapt their personality to whoever they are around,” What in the world? How does that work? A better question, why would you want to do that. Now don’t get me wrong, I understand the concept of toning down certain subjects around people, but is it really necessary to change who we are around certain people? Shouldn’t they accept us for who we are, instead of expecting us to change for them? That’s just confusing to me. I have so many unanswered questions about the Human race, it isn’t even funny.

Do we need philosophy? I can’t tell you how many times my mind has been plagued with the question, “Are we in control of our own actions,” Yes you are correct, I have posted on this topic before, but it’s an eternal struggle for me. Now that statement can be misread. Of course I’m choosing to type this. Of course I choose what I do. But from a Christian point of view, think of this: God knows what we will do. He knows our actions. He is omnipotent. He can do whatever pleases Him. He knows the future, He knows the past, and he knows the present. For God, there is no time. A friend once told me this, “God looks at our lives like this. Imagine taking a clear straw, and holding it between your two index fingers. He sees the beginning, He sees the end. But he watches as we make choices.” Ok, so that tells me that we make the choices. But if God knew the choices, are we really choosing? I guess we are, if you really think about it. I kind of like what the oracle said in The Matrix Reloaded:

The Oracle: Candy?
Neo: Do you already know if I’m going to take it?
The Oracle: Wouldn’t be much of an Oracle if I didn’t.
Neo: But if you already know, how can I make a choice?
The Oracle: Because you didn’t come here to make the choice, you’ve already made it. You’re here to try to understand why you made it. I thought you’d have figured that out by now.

That to me is a really good point. She isn’t really saying there that everything is fate, you have to read carefully. “You’ve already made it [the choice]” That’s a really good point. It sounds to me like she’s saying that time almost has no meaning. She sees the end, but Neo is still making the decision. That movie makes some excellent points if you think about it.