So much has been on my mind lately. I’ve second guessed every single thing in my life lately, and I can’t really say why.  I fear the future, that’s why.  There is so much out there, so many paths to take, so many lives to live, how do I know I will pick the right one?  For that matter, how do I know there is a “right” one?  We can only do what we believe is right.  We can only live to our own specifications, and take to accept the fact that it is right.  All the time, I try to convince myself that what I’m doing is ok, or the “best” thing to do, but I am done with that.  I know to many people that do that.  They sit and they try and try to convince themselves of something that absolutely isn’t true, and that pisses me off.  It pisses me off that people will make dumb decisions based on what others want them to do.  That’s why I can’t accept a meant-to-be theory.  I can’t accept the fact that I can sit here and cry my eyes out over something that happens to me, and just say, oh it was meant to happen that way.  No.  I can’t accept that, and I won’t.  I won’t buy into it any more.  I believe, as I’ve stated, that karma plays a part.  I think things have a way of working out or not working out based on our previous experiences, but I can’t sit here and accept the fact that so many things that happen in my life are set in stone from the beginning of time.  Could I be wrong?  Sure, I will admit it, but I haven’t seen proof otherwise, so why should I believe that?  I can’t figure out why people will do something that they don’t feel right about. 

Ok, so if you believe in “meant-to-be,” then why do accidents happen?  Why do bad things happen to good people?  From a religious point of view, they shouldn’t.  But then again good things happen from bad situation, just as previously mentioned in other posts.  So that particular person’s life was spared to help those in need?  Spock said at the end of Star Trek II, The Wrath of Khan that “The needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few, or the one,” But something stops me from believing that God follows that theory.  My main question is, if God’s will can be achieved from another way, which I know it can, I mean He’s omnipotent, then why must a life be spared?  Perfect example: Judas Iscariot.  If you have read the book “Purpose Driven Life,” then you know that the author believes that every single person on earth was placed here for a reason, and we play a specific part.  They even use biblical references, but not Judas.  Oh no, when we look at him, it was all him, he was the evil one.  Didn’t someone have to betray Christ?  Yes or no?  Yes, so if that’s the case, was that Judas’ purpose?  And if so, is that fair to him?  Did Judas go to hell for playing his part in the world?

I just sometimes feel like I cannot put into words how I feel, and I try so hard but I can’t express it.  That’s what most of these posts are.  They are just my thoughts, and my attempt to share exactly what is going on in my mind, with the world.  I have a problem with it though.  I cannot truly express myself no matter how hard I try.  Someone once told me that they thought blogs were just ways of getting the world to feel sorry for you.  Well that’s not the case here, and if you think that, leave my page, because I don’t want sympathy.  No one twists your arms to come here, so if you don’t like it, don’t fool with reading it.  That’s not a blow off, and it’s not meant to sound harsh, I just wanted to make sure that was clear.  There is one thing I want everyone that reads this to know, and that’s that I’m not attempting to change people’s opinions on anything; Nor am I an expert on any of the five topics I post on.  In fact I have a lot to learn.  I got a random/anonymous email from someone the other day claiming I don’t know what I’m talking about and have no experience on any of these topics.  That’s probably true, I am no expert, and I don’t claim to be, people, so don’t take this site as an arrogant, Kelsey thinks he knows it all, type deal, because I don’t want to come off like that.  I’m just living my life, and sharing my thoughts along the way.