Thoughts 8/12/2007 August 12, 2007
Posted by Kelsey Martineau in Psychology.Tags: Psychology
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Life is so similar to a game of poker sometimes if you think about it. In poker, people unconsciously give off something called a “tell.” This means that judging by many factors, such as their facial expression, reaction when given cards, breathing, mannerisms, eye contact, collectiveness, amount they speak at the table, among hundreds of other things, you can actually read these people and figure out exactly what cards they are holding. Unless of course they are a pro, and have the ability to send “false tells,” but we’ll talk about that in a moment. Well, that being said, my point is that you can relate that to life. Why do some people act like they act and do the things they do? I don’t mean genetically opposed to surroundings while growing up, that is another post completely. What I’m referring to is why people have to complicate things? Why are simple situations sometimes referred to as uncomfortable or awkward? I think there are many factors here. Regardless of how perceptive you are, most likely you know the established behavior pattern of your friends, family, and those that are close to you. This being said, it’s quite easy to know when something is wrong, because that particular person may go out of the established pattern. However, many people are very clever. As I stated earlier, in poker there are “false tells.” False tells in life are quite different than those in poker. See, a false tell in life would be purposefully doing something in order to fool someone into believing either that everything is ok, or something is wrong, by either twisting the situation to meet their needs, harm someone, or simply increase drama. I’ve found that the more adamant individuals are about proving that they don’t act a particular way, the more likely it is that they are. This is the perfect example of a false tell. That person is over-compensating. For example, someone claiming they dislike conflict may actually like it, but feel that it’s wrong, therefore claiming they hate it, or try to avoid it. Look on millions of myspace or facebook profiles, and see what people say they hate. You’ll find women that claim they hate arrogant jerks, but they’ll be dating them. You’ll find people who hate drama, but cause it. It’s human nature. We’re programmed to attempt to be normal, or at least what the world views as normal. I’m starting to believe that honesty is a thing of the past.
I’ve been manipulated quite a few times in my life, and almost always catch it. This is an ability that everyone has, but some don’t use it or fine-tune it. Some people simply don’t pay attention to people, or simply don’t care. I have a few friends that wouldn’t even notice if I were bleeding out of my eyes, and others that know and can almost pinpoint exactly what’s happened to me when I’m down. I remember once a classmate of mine did a speech on how humans as a whole are “Generally stupid.” At the time I thought it was just him, but in the last few months I’ve rethought that speech, and he’s his points were pretty accurate. We as humans don’t think logically 99% of the time, especially women. I can’t wait for the feminist bloggers to hit me up with a derogatory comment, but sorry, it’s true. However, that being said, I believe that’s how God made us. Men are more logical (most of them anyway), and women are emotional.
sorry for my interjection but, don’t expect anything from anyone, concentrate upon what you want, keep getting to know yourself better and keep visualizing/conceptualizing a better you and a better world, and your world will change in tandem with the changes you have wrought within yourself. happy to make your acquaintance.
care to comment on my idealistic comments in many of your archives?
where are the rest of y’all anyway? i hope you’re having fun. perhaps you will respond according to our ability to believe and visualize your response. like your thoughts anyway.
I enjoy your insight very much Nihal. I have reviewed each of your comments at least two or three times and I have to admit, you have a very deep understanding of many topics. From what I gather from this comment, you think a lot like I do. You keep waiting for the world to change. I’ve always been like that. Even though I realize that the world is generally a bad place, I keep waiting for a change. I keep hoping that eventually I’m going to run across a group of people that will not let me down like the rest have.
I guess I expect to much out of people. In friendships, in relationships, even in family. I guess i just have way to high expectations. I think I have a character flaw of expecting the world to act like I would in a situation. Example 1: I had a friend about two years back, and needed him to stand with me in a situation, but he didn’t. He let me down. Example 2: A girl I wanted to date about two years back used me for intimacy. She gave me the assumption that we were dating, and for hte span of a month or so we were intimate, and she moved out of town at the end of that period without even letting me know. Something I wouldn’t and couldn’t do to someone. Example 3: I had an ex-girlfriend that started dating one of my good friends and it shocked me so bad, because it’s something that never in a million years I would have done to her. Now the friendship between she and I, and my old friend and I will never be the same, and it’s because of one stupid mistake. Example 4: My family. They think I’m trying to be a jerk when I’m trying to be helpful. The world has that “I don’t need your help mentality,” and that is not a good thing. The list of examples could go on and on.
Everyone thinks they have everything under control. Everyone puts on this little face of “Everything is ok.” But the truth is, I don’t know how some people sleep at night. I’m not saying I am perfect, and I am not saying that I don’t make mistakes. But what I am saying is some of the things that I’ve seen done to me in my life by people would really bother me. That doesn’t mean I’m wishing anything bad on anybody, just giving you my perspective in some situations. I really enjoy your comments Nihal and hope that you continue to give me your insight.
Could I have yr email (my internet savviness so i may send u some .pps once in a while? I sent this to my close friend encouraging him to join yr blog:
Please join the family of charming and lovely thoughts (start from the beginning if you can)
http://pppsr.wordpress.com/2005/01/
Bye 4 Now ,
Madonna and Nihal,
I’m always concerned about my kids, Darryl Adrien Robbin and Partrin Cameron, that they may turn out to be better equipped mentally and spiritually to face the world and its inhabitants.
Referring to Example 1 & 2, remember the saying: the heart has its reasons which reason knows not of. So, just radiate love to them that may have used you, but it is still a learning experience for them, just the same. Your steadfast and unswerving love will touch them even if they have moved far away from you, for our thoughts have a direct influence on the course of events.
If i remember correctly (sing/listen to the Christian song)…
‘The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases,
His mercies never come to an end’
The unwavering and intense love of God (kingdom of heaven) is within you.
‘I found the greatest love of all, Inside of me.’
‘Learning to love yourself, It is the greatest love of all’
You have to become the embodiment of love and not project it away from yourself into an external God or any other being.
Example 3 & 4, girls and boys are not bodies that you want to use and discard when you are finished with them like dirt. Regard them tenderly, love them whatever their disposition, treat them as you would love your own self, even if they are your lover for just a while, your intimacy/connection with them as a sacred bond will never be severed/fade in spiritual reality. Welcome their learning and new relationships. Just let them feel that you will be there for them if they ever need you, and let them be free to form their own reality, but now with the knowledge they have someone who truly cares about their personal growth. The more you love humans, creatures, objects and circumstances, the more love you will be able to experience.
I am not a know it all, but just another soul on his journey through eternity.
This is by far one of the best blogs I have ever read. Excellent post.